...who am i?

Easy question... or at least it should be.


I have known me for 35 years.
I have slept with me every night.
I have grown up with me, cared for me when I am sick, bought me things, wiped my tears....so, you'd think I know me pretty well.

But
Well
I am having an identity crisis.
I am changing my name, back to my maiden.
It took me a while to gain the courage to do this. And, after a trip to the Social Security office back in December (where I was TURNED AWAY) - the courage left me.
It again took me a while to get there.
I am ready now.
Really, I am.

This week, I went to my lawyers office...not once, not twice - but three times.
Joy! (sensing sarcasm?)
They needed some forms signed, and my birth certificate, and my drivers license, and (you guessed it) money. And then, after all that - the lovely courthouse says that background checks through the sheriffs office are now required.
(Do I look like a criminal? Really... )
(friends, don't answer... ;-) )
This whole process really is messed up.
So, I am tired.
AND - after the courthouse approves my new (old) name...I get to go back to the Social Security office, DMV, banks, insurance agents, utilities, other financial institutions, and ... my work ... to start the name change process there.
There should be a special clause that if you are changing your name back to your maiden name, you don't have to endure the idiocracy of being presumed guilty until proven innocent!!!
(When I rule the world, I'll change this rule...)

At any rate, when ALL OF THE ABOVE is done - I then get the awkward pleasure of re-introducing myself under my maiden name. I will get puzzled looks from some. And, I am bracing myself for an occasional 'ohhh, congratulations...did you get married?' - but even more likely, I'll get 'ohhh, I'm so sorry.'

So, who am I?
Today, I am still shaken.
I am still going through a process.
Not sure what phase I am in....

But, lets reorder the above question...this is much more important:
Who I am...

I am me.
I believe in God.
I care about people.
I am passionate and driven.
I love fun.
I desire hard work.
I strive to be nice.
I smile a lot, laugh a lot, and hug a lot.
I am so much more...
I have only begun to scratch the surface...of knowing me.

...happy friday

I love springtime...

don't you?
I see this every day when I pick up my mail!

Enjoy this lovely weekend.
:-)

...a little kindness goes a long way

I get burnt out.
Frazzled.
Tired.
~we all do~

But then, I hear kind words.
And, I am lifted.

See Exhibit A from a work email to me:
"we’re a much better team with your good ideas and inputs…"
This is from someone I deeply respect. :-)

Exhibit B...this is the reply I received when I shared Exhibit A with a co-worker, names are removed to protect the innocent:
"They are good words and so true.  You always bring great ideas and keep things focused.  And definitely people like **him** and you make working here good J!!  You do great work and truly make a difference. You rock sista!"
Aww, my heart is full.
Burnout adverted.
(at least for another day or two...)

Unrelated, random funny for you...
With Easter coming...thought I would share an old fav...

...ibuprofen and clean sheets

It's Saturday.
And, the weather is beyond gorgeous!

Today was the Rocket City 10 miler.
Good race...good friends...and, I'll try to put my 'Nancy positive spin' on it. Because, it really was good...until the last 4 or so minutes.
BIG FAT THANKS to the race coordinators for NOT putting folks or signs at the last .25 mile. And, when we took a wrong turn at the end...THANK YOU for saying 'you can stop, but it won't show as you finished unless you go back out and around the block'.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just ran ~10 miles and you are going to A) not mark your course and B) going to be rude about it.
What did I say?: "You know what pisses me off? Lack of organization!"
I need to get control of this mouth....

...ok, I didn't manage to put that positive spin on it, sorry.
disheartening...
really, who wants to run 10 miles - cross the line - and get reprimanded?

So, afterward - this girl goes to Kroger.
Supplies needed.
Pantry empty of wine.
And, well - I wanted to make my Shrimp and Scallop Lasagna for dinner.
...mmm...

Between running and dinner time, much ibuprofen was needed. Relief.
And, I washed/dried sheets and comforters.
I left the windows open for the fresh air.
I napped on the couch.
I watched an insane amount of Grey's Anatomy (*hooked*).

Then, a friend came over and together we rolled out some dough.
FRESH PASTA!
Lasagna!
Eureka - I found my pasta niche. :-)
...I am sufficiently full...

Now, those clean sheets are calling!
There is NOTHING better than a clean fresh bed...and earning the rest through physical activity...and, being nice and full of some good cooking (if I do say so myself). GOOD NIGHT!

..a pot of gold

It's St. Patrick's Day...

Check out my sweet little pot of gold...
:-)
Thanks AJ and Anna!
(I have a health screening this morning and am fasting right now before the blood draw...and this chocolate, I swear, it's staring at me...)

In other news, I am looking for a house.
Trying to figure out what to do.
6 more months of apartment life? Or, take the big step of home ownership (alone).
I am torn.
I would rather buy, but I don't want to rush.
And, if I buy now - I will have to cut grass all summer (I'm no diva, I like work, but I dread cutting grass!).
If I don't buy now, I have a summer to spend at the apartment pool...
Hmmmm.....
I only have a short while to consider it all - my lease is up in 2 months.
Maybe I'll think about it over some chocolate, when I can eat again....

...spring has sprung

The daffodils are blooming.
And the Bradford Pear trees.
And - just about everything else.


I am seriously suprised my sinuses aren't acting up yet.
(*Dear God, Please....no sinus/allergy trouble this year...)

Visited again at Asbury today.
The sermon: Personal Ministry.
...acting on what God has called us to do...
...even when it's not easy...
...even when, in fact, it is very hard...
...stepping out - to follow - to witness - to be the one He created you to be...
Wow - who amongst us is strong enough?

I like to think of myself as having grown in my Christian faith this past year.
I like to feel like I am good, and whole, and strong.
But, when I think of the disciples - giving all - walking away to follow ...I am but nothing.

Truth is, faith is a tricky thing.
Easy to say - hard to back up.
I have faith - yet I struggle.
(...don't judge...tell the truth...you do too...)
Maybe the secret is always admitting you have work to do.
NO ONE amongst us is perfect.
We all walk a line.
Maybe it's all about the desire to move forward, to be more, to admit imperfection and strive. For better. For the potential of pleasing God.

Spring is here.
With it brings new life.
I need new life.
It's within me, I feel it.
I struggle - I admit.

But this gives me hope.
It is out of my control.
It's not in my hands....I now know this.

(beautiful song, I hope you listen...absorb...)

Last week closed a chapter for me.
A big one.
I need to refocus.
Strengthen.
Pray for me friends.
And, pray for our friends in Japan.

...busy bee

Swimming in life.
I won't say it's work this time.
It's just everything...



The house sold on Friday.
A flurry of activity surrounded, of course.
I am tired.

'You know what really pisses me off....people!'
Yes, I uttered this several times this week.
I more than uttered it, I was loud and obnoxious.
It temporarily made me feel better.
Patience...a very important virtue.
I am running low this week.

Saturday morning...
...I need a new attitude...
...I went for a run...
...I felt better...

~Can't wait for church tomorrow~